we enter relationships or have kids. Most relationships fail because we don't realize what is actually happening. And parents fail at being good parents because they do not see what is happening. WITH KIDS ITS INTUITIVELY OBVIOUS but since you are in the middle of it, it's hard to see. The obvious thing is that kids are growing and changing everyday, and you treat them differently as they grow. For example when they are a baby you change their diapers. You don't do this when they are five. You treat them differently. And when they are ten, you treat them differently than when they were five. OBVIOUS. But what you should be looking at is the fact that you changed. You changed the way that you treat your kids. You let an external force drive you to change. This is not the way it should be done. DO NOT WAIT for the kids to get bigger before you change.  Instead plan ahead what you think you should be doing with your kids in advance. Challenge them. Be aware of where they are so you can initiate the change in yourself to meet them where they are. I'm not saying plan your kids life, but plan your life. Be ready for change in yourself to meet the kids when they are ready for the next step.  A Subtle difference but important. 
IN RELATIONSHIPS it's very similar. You are growing and getting older. Changes are happening to you and your spouse. You both have to give the space to each other that is necessary for the other to grow. You can not expect things to remain the same, or you will feel the stifling effect. You have to learn to ask for space when you need it. And you have to learn to give space when your spouse needs to grow.
IF AT ANYTIME WE RESIST the change that is happening then we fail. And if we wait for the change to happen to us, we might fail. Some of us manage to rise to the challenge. But it's much better if change is part of your life.
Without change you develop a rut. You must be responsible for all the things that happen to you. There should be no 'poor me'. Realize that you create your own reality. SO CHANGE your belief system. - I Will be taken care of - I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and God will provide for me. This is not to say that I don't have to do anything and I will get rewarded.  I will work hard and I will be rewarded for doing what I am supposed to be doing.
Let's look at making money. If you are not making money then look where you are putting your energy. If you are doing something that isn't making money then stop it. Take a honest look at yourself.
Let's look at sickness.  The quickest way to get over sickness is to give no sympathy, to yourself or others. Have to ask the question , why am I putting my energy into something that is killing me? And above all do not blame others for your sickness.
This next sentence is true of all illness, whether you want to believe it or not.
'The only reason I am sick is because I want to be.'
I know a lot of people who do not agree with that statement. But I was terminally ill and I only got
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